To Like or Not To Like - Do I Need Permission to Check Myself?

“If the shoe fits, wear it.” If I had a dollar for every time someone shouted those words, well you know the rest. Sometimes it fits perfectly. Other times, not so much. I was reading an article someone posted on Facebook. It was very interesting since it hit on a very current, popular and sensitive matter. After reading, I “liked” the post. As soon as I hit the like button, a million things rushed through my head. My immediate thought upon finishing the read was how it confirmed something personal for me. I had been struggling with a decision that I couldn’t quite settle within myself. For me, the article was a helpful arrival at an answer. So, of course, I embraced it. The next thought was the question, “Are they going to think I’m being judgmental because I “liked” the posted article?” Although the answer I found worked for me, it uncovered a truth that many others did not want to face. I guess I was thinking that by liking the article, it would appear as though I was saying, “See! I told you not to do it girl. Now look at you.” At least that’s what people the article referenced would most likely think. To them, my acknowledgement of the article meant I was saying something negative about the actions of someone else.  

We’ve all been guilty of seeing things on social media and quickly becoming agitated or enraged because we believe we are being called out. “Why in the world is she/he talking about me?” Because per usual, everything is always about us. Even though this may not always be the case, sometimes we are being put on front street. I have seen a fight or two played out in ugly social media posts resulting in arguments from the very hilarious to the awkward and to the sad. I have witnessed friends and family members fall clean out then post everything, blow by blow, for everyone to see and be a part of. On the flip side, I have also seen people’s relationships ripped apart because someone thought someone else was posting and talking about them and their situations. Before you know it, BOOM! Tempers flare, and the fight is on.

 PAUSE. Check Yourself, Girl! Every post, comment, photo, etc. is not about you. More often than not, people post things that are confirmation or affirmation for themselves and their own situations. So, get over yourself! The first thing that pops into the minds of posters is how something applies to them, not how they apply to you. Why we get so caught up in what someone says or likes on a social platform is beyond me. Even more puzzling is why we choose, yes choose, to take things so personally. Maybe we should really be questioning why we believe people are always talking about us. I guess it’s just those darn shoes again. They seem to fit on the feet of many. Never too tight, never too big but more like Cinderella’s – just right. Except, even though they may fit, they were not meant for you. The reality is, they belong to someone else. You’re just too anxious to see or consider this fact.

Yes, people do post subliminal, and not so subliminal, messages about others on social media. I know this all too well. Not only have I been the victim but, shamefully enough, I’ve also been the victimizer. But hey, you live and you learn. I have also learned that people are self-reflecting, even when they don’t recognize it. This comes through every day by way of quotes, pictures, posts and even rants. So, please relax, and give yourself a break. No one is judging you harder than they are judging themselves. Girl, it’s not always about you.