I will never forget my first, big college heartbreak. I went through a thing! I mean this guy had taken me through the wringer. I remember being so sad and hurt that I put Mariah Carey’s “All Alone in Love” in my CD player and pressed repeat. I fell asleep listening to this heartbreaking song while my heart was literally breaking with every note. By the time I awoke the next morning, it sounded like Mariah was sitting at the edge of my bed wailing like a distressed puppy. The CD repeated that song so many times that it was tired. Seriously, the notes actually dragged and seemed to be even sadder than I was before falling asleep the night before. 

 Was I trying to torture myself? Like, what was my goal? As if I didn’t feel sad enough on own already, I solicited the cries of another woman to solidify my tears. Why was I being so dramatic? Was I really that sad, or did I believe I needed to be a true example of what I heard from Mariah and so many other women as they sang their blues? We all experience heartache, right? Are we not supposed to cry about it? Don’t we all need to just get it out? How else are we supposed to get over it and close out the situation?

PAUSE. Check Yourself, Girl! Are you trying to get over the situation or prolong it? Yes, it is okay to cry, but all of the fan fair is not necessary. Is there a contest for being overly dramatic? Don’t get me wrong. I really was sad during that ordeal, and I really did feel like I was not going to be okay. But I do know that the mood I created only made it worse. I was literally stabbing my own heart over and over again. It was as if I had told myself that I needed to feel worse about what was happening to me.

 Deep down we know that when we put any relationship behind us, there is no turning back. When we are done, we are DONE! We know this, so for whatever reason, we hesitate on pushing that button. Sometimes our real fear is in moving on. It is not that we cannot move on, sometimes we are just afraid to. If we do, then what? If we are heartache and drama free, then what? Not everyone will want to acknowledge this as truth. Who wants to admit they like a little drama? Even in teeny weeny amounts, a little drama keeps the party going. It’s okay as long as it doesn’t hold you back or cause any damage. Cry, but not for too long. Eat ice cream, but not too much. Have a “Go On Girl” with the ladies, but keep it brief. And most definitely play those sad songs, but don’t let the songs play you.