Is This Your Trauma or Mine? –Make a Decision!

I think we can all speak to a workplace or school setting issue. Some are small and give us something to laugh about over drinks with our friends. Others are more damaging and end up bad for all parties involved. The handling of these workplace or school setting issues mostly depends on the level of maturity or tolerance of the receivers. Some people can take a lot and never explode. Not that this is healthy, but they have learned the art of avoiding confrontations or turning ugly situations into mild happenings that never get a second thought. I so admire those people.

 I had a situation that I laughed about, drank over and everything else I could think of in order to not give it the energy it really deserved. Day after day, the issue became more and more heavy. I couldn’t quite figure out why one day I’d be met with aggression and the next it was like nothing ever happened. I slowly began to realize that it wasn’t just me. I was not the only victim on the receiving end of this horror. Everyone around this ENTITY seemed to be holding their breaths. The tiptoeing would begin as soon as that Dark Cloud set foot on the premises. No one knew what mood “it” would be in for the day or even the moment. It was ridiculous. It took me a minute, but I figured out that the trauma suffered by this entity had it very troubled. Their troubles had begun to seep out everywhere all over everybody. It was horrible! Instead of protecting ourselves, we continued to accommodate the abuse we received as a result of this Darkness not attending to their past and present traumas. This was mostly because our first impulse is to take care of those who have been hurt, even if it means being hurt as a result. We’ve been trained this way.

 PAUSE. Check Yourself, Girl! People need to deal with their traumas. Quick, fast and in a hurry. They are damaging and imposing on the lives of other people at every turn. Its’ just not fair. When do the receivers of the dumping get a break? When and where do they get help? Have we even realized that the damaged are damaging others? Get therapy, talk to your priest or pastor, go slap the person who is hurting you, etc. Do whatever it takes to heal and stop dragging other people into your pain and darkness. It hurts!

 At some point, we have to understand that it’s not okay to pull others into our unattended to matters and think they’ll be fine. Everywhere you look, there is acknowledgement and support for the hurt, but I have yet to see those they are hurting being embraced. I’m so glad we have moved into a space where we have recognized that trauma is real. Now, we must go a little further to widen the lens on who falls into this category. We can’t continue to be okay with saying, “Hurt people hurt people.” The story does not end there.