Just recently, I let myself get wrapped up in thoughts about why a friend of mine hadn’t congratulated me for a recent accomplishment. At first, I wondered if maybe they didn’t see it as a big deal since I always have something going on. Then I thought it must be the usual jealousy thing. You know we are quick to blame it on that. Finally, I thought maybe they just don’t give a flying… I’ll just stop there. Some would say the bigger problem was why I felt that getting their praise was necessary. The more I thought about it, the more I came to the conclusion that their lack of acknowledgement was obviously an issue for me. I sat with that for a while before I finally had to check myself. Had I even acknowledged my own wins?

We can be the biggest culprits when it comes to downplaying our own accomplishments. Oftentimes, we do this because of our fear of making someone else feel some kind of a way. Yeah, I am totally guilty. If we celebrate too loudly, someone will think this, and someone else will say that. The reality is, when we don’t celebrate, we make our successes small and less meaningful. They become “matter of factish” in the eyes of others because that’s the tone we’ve set. So why are we so surprised when people don’t jump for joy at our triumphs? 

Pause. Check yourself, girl! The first person who you should look to for a celebratory dance is you. No one, not a single soul, can give you the kind of praise you really deserve but you. Don’t get me wrong. It feels great to be acknowledged. It feels awesome when someone else recognizes your strengths, talents and accomplishments. But if they don’t or as in some cases, pretend not to, it doesn’t mean they don’t exist. Sometimes, the disregard for them is proof enough that you are doing something great. Simply said, even if it sounds like a big ole’ cliché, you have to be the captain of your own cheerleading squad. Rah, rah for yourself, then maybe others will join the team. 

 Bottom line, don’t let anyone, especially you, stand in the way of your celebrations, your moments of feeling accomplished. I know not everyone needs a party, and not everything needs to be grand. I actually like drama and over the top any and every single thing, but I’ve learned to celebrate myself with a few simple things too. A latte, a new pair of shoes or a longer drive home to listen to one more favorite song all do the trick for me. No matter how you decide to celebrate yourself, make it a habit. Giving yourself a smile and a wink in the mirror while saying out loud, “yes girl, yes” should be commonplace. If you learn to get yourself knee deep in bubbles or bubbly, any additional pats on the back will be welcomed but not vital. Before others can see you, you must first see yourself.